I rush in the front door from
work and find my son enjoying a cookie and a glass of milk. I pull up a chair
and announce: “Hey, I don’t have much time—I’ve got to leave for a church
meeting in 5 minutes. But let’s talk. You tell me all about your hopes and
dreams and problems and I’ll share with you some wisdom to help you grow up to
be a man of integrity. But talk fast—we only have four minutes left.”
Ridiculous? Obviously. Kids desperately
need to bond with their parents, but it won’t happen in five minute bursts or
while sitting on the sidelines of their athletic contests. It can happen,
though, at mealtime or bedtime, on family vacations, while working together on
a household project. When our boys were young, we tucked them in bed with the
invitation to “talk-about-the-day”. Talking about the highlights of the day was
an unhurried, satisfying way to end our days and helped us connect in
significant ways.
Mary, the mother of Jesus,
was an ordinary young woman with an extraordinary faith. What was the source of
that faith? The Bible tells us that she pondered
what was happening to her and treasured
all these things in her heart. But what child today has time to ponder
anything?! A recent cartoon showed two young girls clutching personal planners
while they waited for the school bus.
One of the girls suggested: "Okay, I’ll move ballet back an hour,
reschedule gymnastics, and cancel piano ... you shift your violin lesson to
Thursday and skip piano ... that gives us from 3:15-3:45 on Wednesday the 16th
to play.” We laugh, but what has happened to childhood? How have even kids become
such time paupers? All children need time to play, to daydream, to draw a
picture, to read a book, to pray. The only way to give this to your child is to
limit his activities. Otherwise he may come to look and act like a tired
businessman.
Can families limit a child to
one sport per athletic season? Some worry that a child’s talent may go
untapped: “My son is already playing soccer but I better sign him up for golf lessons,
too. Who knows, he may be the next Tiger Woods!” But would it have been a
tragedy if Tiger Woods’ parents had missed his golf talent? John Rosemond
commented on that possibility: “Maybe Tiger would have grown up to become a
virologist, and maybe he would have discovered a cure for [a major disease].” We need parents who have a larger vision for their child
than the next championship trophy.
