tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68596780481774433122024-03-08T12:10:54.525-08:00Raising ChampionsOver 35 million children play youth sports each year! RAISING CHAMPIONS is a blog dedicated to helping those children have experiences that will help them grow into the persons God created them to be.Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-12418065320768356082015-11-18T09:40:00.001-08:002015-11-18T09:42:15.796-08:00Coaches & Coaching, Part 2<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "courier new";"></span></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">I have had hundreds of
conversations with parents about their kids’ sporting experiences, probably the
majority of them about their kids’ coaches. Some have been frustrated, others
furious, many confounded by actions these coaches took or did not take. What is
a parent to do?<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">Be Realistic<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">One of our sons played on his
school’s varsity basketball team with a boy who had little talent. The coach
didn’t cut him because he knew the boy desperately wanted to make the team.
Even though the boy was content to ride the bench, his parents frequently
grumbled about their son’s lack of playing time. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><em>When parents don’t accurately assess their child’s abilities,
they, and often their child, become frustrated.</em></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> Since it is hard for a parent to be objective, I
occasionally asked sports-wise people to appraise my sons’ talents. I used that
information to help my sons (and me!) develop reasonable expectations. One time
we used the information to begin praying that our son would have an opportunity
to play more—a prayer God eventually answered.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">Be a Godly Model<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">When one of our sons was a
senior in high school and a starter on his basketball team, his playing time was
reduced for a few games because his coach believed he wasn’t hustling. This
made no sense. His athletic intensity never dropped much below 10, as evidenced
by six steals in his most recent game! So what was the best way to help our son?
If the goal was his maturity, I couldn’t lead him where I hadn’t traveled.
Though I wanted to gripe about his “brain-dead coach” (the description that
kept assaulting my mind!), I chose to forgive the coach and help my son do the
same.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">Be a Friend <o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">Coaching can be a lonely
calling. What your child’s coach may need is a friend—someone who will
encourage him, drive a van, assist at a practice, record statistics. The main communication
most coaches hear is how they could do their jobs better.(How do you think your
surgeon would react if you gave him advice about your upcoming surgery?!) </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "courier new";">Parents, act like a parent and not a spoiled child. Your child needs a godly model for how to handle life's unwelcome surprises.</span></span>Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-45121108900065695902015-11-02T07:49:00.001-08:002015-11-02T07:49:58.548-08:00Coaches & Coaching, Part 1
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">My sophomore year of high
school I tried out for the school’s<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>basketball team—along with 120 other boys! At the first practice we were
divided into two groups based on our junior high coaches’ assessments. I was
placed in the “lets-cut-them-quickly” group. By the end of the first week of
practice, I was one of two boys left from that group! And by the end of the
season I was playing with the best fifteen players. I have Coach Ben Newcomb to
thank for my survival and elevation. He alone saw and encouraged the talent
that I had. Though he yelled and threw clip boards and kicked chairs—mostly in
response to my errors!—I loved him because he believed in me and pushed me to
become a batter player. His coaching nurtured a passion for basketball and,
more importantly, a confidence that if I worked hard I could accomplish an important
goal.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">But I also had negative
experiences with coaches. When I was in fourth grade I tried out for a Little
League team. On the day that cuts were announced, I was one of the boys cut. As
I dejectedly climbed on my bike, the coach asked if I would lead calisthenics.
I agreed, wondering if I was being given a second chance. When we were done, I
stood around not knowing what to do next. But the coach said, “That’s all,
Schock, you can leave now.” I felt humiliated in front of the other boys. Had
the coach intended that? I don’t know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Former NFL star Joe Ehrmann
has written: “One of the great myths in America is that sports build character.
They can and they should. . . . But sports don’t build character unless a coach
possesses character and intentionally teaches it.” Your children’s coaches can
have a great impact for good or for evil in your child’s development. During
the 20-25 years that my boys were competing in youth sports, I was a coach and
an observer of coaches. Both sides of the coaching experience offer unique
opportunities to live out our faith and influence kids’ development.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-80241238948777480612015-10-05T15:53:00.000-07:002015-11-02T07:39:36.928-08:00Parents Must Help Their Child-athletes Connect with God<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span class="eop">The world of sport has exploded for kids in
our culture. </span>More children are competing — up nearly 50% over 25 years
ago. More girls compete—nearly a tenfold increase in high school participation
between 1970-2000. More children start earlier. More kids focus on one sport
year round. More is demanded of these athletes—more practices, more games, more
travel. More is demanded of their families-more money, more involvement, more
expectations. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";">The question that rises from these statistics is, How does
this flood of “more” impact parents’ goal to raise children who love God with
all their hearts? The answer starts with parents – we must love God ourselves
before we can help connect our child-athletes to God. We can’t pass on
something we don’t possess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a recovering sports addict. My childhood was filled
with sports, playing them, watching them, dreaming about them. Though it is not
wrong to enjoy sports, my challenge has been to be more temperate about them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Some time ago I asked my wife to record a championship
football game for me because I had another commitment. Since I enjoy the
unexpected in sports, I made it clear to my sons that I wanted to view the game
without knowing the outcome. When I came home, my long-faced, six year-old son
greeted me: “Dad, I won’t tell you the score but I don’t think you will want to
watch the game.” I immediately knew that my team had lost. I responded sharply,
“Andrew, you weren’t supposed to tell me!” Unfortunately, my values were
showing. I was more concerned about a trivial football game than my treasured
son.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">When parents become obsessed with sports, as so many have,
they may try to serve that passion through their children. One father explained
that watching his son play football “was almost like I was competing myself
again.” Ouch! Parents, please understand: your childhood is over and your child
still has his to live!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Appointing your
child to fulfill your dreams puts a burden on him that he is “too small to bear
and too young to comprehend.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";">When I have counseled over-zealous parents that it is O.K.
to occasionally miss their children’s sporting events, some look at me as if I
am advocating child sacrifice! But if your relationship with God is the
priority of your life, won’t you need to occasionally miss a child’s ballgame
to attend a retreat or a home Bible study? If you always sacrifice those
activities for your child’s athletics, what are you teaching your child? You
can build your life around God or your child’s sporting life—but you can’t do
both.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";"></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">We parents need to remember what is truly, eternally important. Kids today need parents who have a larger vision for them than the next championship trophy. <br />
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Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-85400456315843396352015-09-14T08:06:00.005-07:002015-09-14T08:06:55.002-07:00“Pushing Too Hard”
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Mark Shriver wrote a memoir about his father, Sargent
Shriver. As Mark’s dad was nearing the end of his life and was suffering from
Alzheimer’s, Mark took him to a lacrosse game that his 10-year-old daughter,
Molly, was playing in. Mark tells the story:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">The
day dad came to her lacrosse game, he sat smiling and marveling at the scene in
front of him: young people in the prime of their lives excelling in the sport
on a gorgeous day. That is what he would’ve thought 10 years prior, I knew, but
now I assumed he just sat there smiling as the sun was warm on his face and he
was with us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I,
on the other hand, was constantly yelling instructions. About halfway through
the first half, dad suddenly said to me, “Hey there.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">
I looked at him. He wasn’t smiling, and I became instantly alarmed that something
bad was happening. He looked straight at me. “You’re yelling a lot,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">“I
know dad,” I said, relieved that there wasn’t a crisis. “This is a really close
game. Molly has to move or else we could lose.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">A
minute or two passed before he said, “Hey there. Did I yell like that at you,
too?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I
looked at him. He hadn’t spoken in an accusatory tone. It was just a
matter-of-fact question. I was stunned. Had he suddenly remembered that I was
his son? Did he know Molly was my daughter, his granddaughter? I didn’t think
he had that cognitive capacity anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">“Did
I?” He asked again, never once raising his voice or changing its tone.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I
didn’t answer. “Of course you didn’t, Dad,” I thought.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Even
when I was getting crushed in high school tennis, he never said a negative
word. Even when I didn’t start for the first three games of my senior year on
my high school football team, he had never yelled or expressed disappointment.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">“No,
you didn’t,” I said to him. He smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">“Good,”
he said and turned back to resume watching the game and smiling in the
sunlight.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">What
had just happened? I asked myself. Was he telling me not to yell? Was that a
moment of insight, of clarity, of him being my father again, or were they just
random words?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">As
we drove home I tried to engage him, to see if he could come back one more time
to be there with us, but he didn’t bite. Instead, I talked with Molly – praised
her and analyzed certain plays for her. It was the best postgame trip home we
had ever had.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Why are so many of us parents like Mark Shriver, relentlessly
pushing our kids to achieve in the sports world? And who will correct us when
we need correcting? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Many children today feel intense pressure from their
parents, their teachers, their culture to perform. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Many of them believe that</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">to
be successful</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">they have to be extraordinary.
The bar is set way too high for many children today. Can we let them be
children?</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-34018487241995442792015-09-01T13:22:00.003-07:002015-09-01T13:22:35.064-07:00James Harrison II
<o:p><span style="font-family: Courier New;">How to Encourage Children </span></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Two weeks ago I watched an interview with Tiger Woods at the
Wyndham Championships. He had just finished his second round and was leading
the tournament. The interviewer asked several technical questions about his
round which Tiger answered methodically. But when the interviewer asked, “How
were the crowds?”, Tiger’s smile erupted: “They were great!” Tiger has been
through some rough waters in his personal and professional life, and hasn’t
heard many cheers lately. The crowd’s praise temporarily eased his pain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">I had a similar experience last week when I was playing
pickup basketball at the “Y”. As we were negotiating the teams, one of the
better big players announced: “I want Bernie as my point guard.” That comment
made me feel ridiculously good! At the age of 67 it feels good to be wanted on
the court. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">God designed us with a need for praise. The problem we
looked at in my last post was that too much of the praise that we give is
“junk” praise, praise separated from meaningful accomplishment. My basketball
friend’s request to have me on his team was based on my ability to feed him the
ball in a position where he can score. His praise was meaningful because I knew
it had a basis in reality. In that last post, when James Harrison returned his
sons’ participation trophies, he wasn’t denying their need for encouragement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">So how do we praise our kids? The Apostle Paul provides a
good model. In all of the letters he wrote to churches he began with
praise—even with churches that had little praiseworthy behavior. He could
always find something they did well. He eventually dealt with their problems,
but he didn’t start there. If you want to share a negative message about your
child’s performance, it will be received better if you start with some genuine
praise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="color: #990000;">Surprisingly, Jesus seldom praised people—he saved his
praise for truly remarkable deeds.</span> When a Roman soldier demonstrated faith in
Jesus’s ability to heal his servant, Jesus marveled at his faith: “Truly I tell
you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith.”<span style="color: #990000;"> When we praise
our kids too often, praise loses its power to encourage truly noteworthy
behavior.</span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Furthermore, we parents should not over-praise <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">athletic</i> achievement. Educator and coach
Bruce Svare praised his dad: “I am almost certain that my father was more proud
of my academic accomplishments than he ever was of anything I did on the
basketball court or football field.” Think about it: Do you show (at least) as
much interest in your child’s academics as you do in her sports? Even when our
sons were in college we tried to maintain a balance during our visits to campus—we
not only watched their athletic contests but also attended some of their
classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Finally, our praise should point our children to earning God’s
praise. You might say: “I am sure that God was pleased when you didn’t complain
when the referee called that questionable foul on you.” Or, “God was certainly
smiling when you didn’t retaliate against that girl who slammed you to the
ground.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God’s praise alone will wholly satisfy
a child’s need for approval.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-55820702317708382015-08-18T11:06:00.001-07:002015-08-18T11:14:13.037-07:00Returning Kids' Trophies?!<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Pittsburgh Steelers’ linebacker, James Harrison,
returned the participation trophies his six and eight-year-old sons were given,
explaining: "While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and
will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until
they EARN a real trophy." Then he added, "I'm not about to raise two
boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just
because they tried their best, because sometimes your best is not enough, and
that should drive you to want to do better."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Three
cheers for James Harrison! Those trophies reflect the misguided philosophy that
separates praise from achievement. This ”junk”
praise <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>may impede a child’s ability to
discern how God has gifted him. Your child needs help assessing his strengths <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">and</b> weaknesses so he can discover God’s
design for his life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">When your child moans over a sub-par performance,
don’t falsely praise him by saying: “Good job!” He knows better and will resent
your good-willed lie. It might be better to simply say, “That wasn’t one of
your better efforts.” And you might add later: “I think you’re not improving
because you seldom practice.” Or if your child has a number of bad
performances, he might need to hear: “Tom, you’re a better basketball player
than soccer player. Would you like to put more time into developing your
basketball skills?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Hall-of-fame
football coach, Lou Holtz, believes that American Idol testifies to the failure
of some parents to speak truth to their children: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">The
less-than-skilled singers auditioning for American
Idol is as staggering as it is sad. Simon Cowell, one of the judges on the
show, has gained a reputation as being the “mean old bad guy” because he tells
people the truth: some of them simply can’t sing. The fact that they’ve never
been told this for fear of hurting their feelings is a troubling commentary on
what we value today.<o:p></o:p></span></em><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">But
eliminating false praise does not mean that your child needs brutal honesty. If
your daughter is unaggressive in a basketball game, don’t whine about her lack
of intensity. Commend her for a rebound she battled for and won. If your son
made an error in a baseball game, praise one of his good plays—“You did a great
job gauging the wind on that pop fly in the 2<span style="font-size: small;"><sup>nd</sup> inning. Not many
fifth-graders could make that play!” Some parents withhold praise because they
think it will give their child a “big head”. But most often, the braggart’s
self-praise is a vain attempt to meet his need for approval. If you don’t
praise him, he will praise himself.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-53635822723829166892015-07-29T08:41:00.001-07:002015-07-29T08:41:37.745-07:00Healthy Bodies
The Value of Team Sports<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Why should children participate in sports? Because sports are
one of the easiest ways to keep our God-given bodies in good shape. A healthy
body makes it easier for us to serve God. And sports, especially team sports,
are one of the best ways for children (and adults!) to keep fit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">As I was researching information about the US women’s national
soccer team, an article by Erin Bried caught my attention. Bried asked: “What
if the secret to getting in amazing shape was making exercise a team effort?
Imagine taking a break from logging miles solo on the treadmill. Playing games
would become your workouts, the fun your motivation, your teammates the most
inspiring personal-cheering squad you could hope for.” <strong>Her point is that
exercise is easier and more fun when you do it in the context of a game. Similarly,
exercise science professor, Marcus Kilpatrick, has observed <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“we
tend to view sport as play and exercise as work, which is why we call one a
game and the other a workout.”<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Imagine this common scene in your home:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt; margin-left: 0.5in;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">“Johnny, would you please mow
the lawn this afternoon?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt; margin-left: 0.5in;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">“Dad, why do I always have to
do it? Why don’t you ask Mary once in a while.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt; margin-left: 0.5in;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">“I do ask her to help. I’m
asking you to help this time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt; margin-left: 0.5in;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">“But dad, you always make me do
more.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Ask a child to mow the lawn or scrub the tub, and he may
complain like you’ve asked him to wash all the windows on the Empire State
Building!</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"> But put him on a basketball court and he has
the unconscious energy to play for hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Being part of a team makes workouts easier to stick with and
more enjoyable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One study in the <em><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Annals of Behavioral Medicine</span></em>
found that <strong>“when paired with a more capable partner, female exercisers not only
put in more effort than those working out alone, but also pushed themselves a
staggering 208 percent longer.</strong>” </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I have been playing
basketball for over 50 years. When I am done running up and down the court for
an hour I am thoroughly exhausted and have to peel my sweat-soaked jersey off
of my upper body. Would I push myself this hard if I was working out alone?!</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 15pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Children need from 30 to 60 minutes of vigorous,
age-appropriate, daily exercise. Team sports are an easy way for children to
meet that need. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-82393220632239173782015-07-01T10:06:00.002-07:002015-07-01T10:06:47.123-07:00Children's Coaches,Part 1
The Influence of a Coach<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">My sophomore year of high
school I tried out for the school’s<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>basketball team—along with 120 other boys! At the first practice we were
divided into two groups based on our junior high coaches’ assessments. I was
placed in the “lets-cut-them-quickly” group. By the end of the first week of
practice, I was one of two boys left from that group! And by the end of the
season I was playing on the "A" team. I have Assistant Coach Ben Newcomb to
thank for my survival and promotion. He alone saw and encouraged the talent
that I had. Though he yelled and threw clip boards and kicked chairs—mostly in
response to my errors!—I loved him because he believed in me and pushed me to become
a better player. <span style="color: red;">His coaching nurtured a passion for basketball and, more
importantly, a confidence that if I worked hard I could accomplish an important
goal.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">But I also had negative
experiences with coaches. When I was in fourth grade I tried out for a Little
League team. On the day that cuts were announced, I was one of the boys cut. As
I dejectedly climbed on my bike, the coach asked if I would lead calisthenics.
I agreed, hoping I was being given a second chance. When we were done, I
stood around not knowing what to do next. But the coach said, “That’s all,
Schock, you can leave now.” I felt humiliated in front of the other boys. Had
the coach intended that? I don’t know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Former NFL star Joe Ehrmann
has written: “One of the great myths is that sports build character.
They can and they should. . . . But sports don’t build character unless a coach
possesses character and intentionally teaches it.” Your children’s coaches can
have a profound impact on your child’s development. In my next post I will look at what a parent can do to help that influence be a positive one.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-54869109958120822872015-06-16T12:23:00.001-07:002015-06-16T12:23:19.548-07:00Compassion for NBA Players?<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">As I have watched the NBA Finals this past week, I have been
reminded that televised sports provide an excellent opportunity to talk with
children about life’s challenges. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Last night the Warriors’ Andre Iguodala missed 8 consecutive
free throws. (I haven’t even seen a middle school player miss 8 free throws in
a row!)If your child is a big Warrior fan and frustrated by Andre’s struggles,
you might ask:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">How do you think Andre felt?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">How do you think his teammates felt?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">How do you think his mother felt?!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">How would you feel if you were the one who missed
all those shots while millions of people were watching you on T.V.?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #660000;">These questions can help a child develop compassion</span> as he realizes
that these highly skilled athletes are people, too. People with feelings.
People who fail. People who become discouraged. People who don’t want to let
their teammates and fans down. <span class="text">Even MVP’s LeBron James and
Stephen Curry have had bad games in this championship series.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">And we all share their weakness. When we fail repeatedly to live
up to God’s standards, we, too, can become discouraged or ashamed. Fortunately
we know a God who understands our makeup:<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text"><sup><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">13 </span></sup></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;">As
a father shows compassion to his children,</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><br /><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
<span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text">so
the </span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><span class="text"> shows compassion to those who fear him.</span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: small;"><sup><span id="en-ESV-15564">14 </span></sup><span style="color: #660000;">For he knows our
frame;<sup data-fn="#fen-ESV-15564a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-ESV-15564a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]">[<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+103&version=ESV#fen-ESV-15564a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]</sup></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><span class="text"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="color: #660000;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="color: #660000;">he remembers
that we are dust</span>. (Ps. 103)</span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">We are all less than we would like to be—and God
knows it. May we experience God’s compassion in our failures so that we can
extend that compassion to our fellow, fallen human beings.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text"><span style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">
</span>Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-83730274303458205502015-05-25T18:45:00.000-07:002015-05-25T18:45:04.240-07:00Selecting A Sport, Part 7
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">SHOULD MY CHILD JOIN A SELECT
TEAM?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Our
three boys played on select soccer teams. I coached our youngest son’s team for
six years. Though it was a mostly positive experience for us, I’m not sure it
would be in today’s select system. My primary concern is that these teams have
amped up the time and commitment required. As a result, many youth sports have
become serious business. If your child wants to play for one of these teams,
consider:<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span></span></b><br />
<ol>
<li><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Watch Over Your Child’s Whole Development: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Just
because a child has talent does <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i>
mean that you are obliged to enroll her in a select program. As I stated
earlier, look at all of your child’s needs and see how that particular
commitment fits into her whole development.<o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
<li>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Watch Out for Specialization: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">If
your child plays one sport nearly all year, it will greatly increase his odds
of developing an overuse injury. Even professional baseball pitchers rest their
arms during the winter. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Furthermore,
narrowly focusing on one sport may not even produce the best athletes. A
Division I college soccer coach commented: “Hands down, the best kids in our
program, ... have been kids who have played three sports, who have had balance,
who maybe started late in soccer but they’re really enjoying it and they can
develop.” </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Watch What Develops: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Though
it may be painful to extricate your child from her commitment to a team, have
the courage to live out your convictions. Is the coach too harsh? the schedule
too demanding? your child’s academics faltering? Your child may initially
object to being withdrawn, but later, when she has her life back, she will
probably thank you.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Watch Your Motives: D</span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">on’t
let your child become a surrogate for your dreams. This is his life, not yours!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Watch Your Expectations: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Parents
may view the time and money they spend on their child’s sport as an
investment—and investors want returns! After one top athlete in our city
underperformed to dad’s expectations, he told her: “If we're going to spend all
this money and travel to tournaments, you better work more on your game.” </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">The
return that many parents of select athletes are hoping for is a college
scholarship. Though NCAA schools award about $1 billion for athletic
scholarships they offer over $30 billion dollars for academic scholarships!
These statistics led one sports leader to wisely advise: “If you want to get
money from a scholarship, go home and read to your children every night!” <o:p></o:p></span></span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Courier New;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-36657804770102786312015-05-04T11:22:00.003-07:002015-05-04T11:25:12.646-07:00Selecting A Sport: Part 6<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Think About Mental Health<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">A child’s mental health can
be significantly impacted by sports. Here are some issues to consider when
helping your young child choose a sport:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<ul><span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The League</i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">:</b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>Educator Bruce Svare wisely points out that a “<span style="color: #660000;">youth sports program should be judged on
the basis of how it treats its <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">least
talented kids</i><strong>,</strong> not on how it treats its most talented kids</span>.” I would
avoid a sports program that doesn’t legislate ample playing time for young
kids.</span></span></li>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Coaches</i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">:</b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>In one study it was found that youth hockey and
baseball coaches rated having fun considerably higher than swimming, wrestling,
and gymnastics coaches. Furthermore, baseball, basketball, soccer, and hockey
coaches rated winning significantly lower than wrestling coaches. These results
only suggest trends. It is best to check out a coach to see what emphasis he
puts on winning, having fun, and developing skills.</span></span></li>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Advanced vs. Recreational</i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">:</b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>Children’s sports today are often organized into
advanced and recreational leagues. The theory is that grouping athletes with
similar skills will produce a more uplifting experience. But one study of 9
year-olds found that kids who participated in recreational leagues viewed
themselves more positively than did kids in advanced leagues. Though the
research didn’t explore why this was true, could it be that the recreational
leagues emphasize winning less? Some kids don’t want to play sports seriously,
preferring fewer practices and modest competition. Don’t push them to a greater
commitment.</span></span></li>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Stress</i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">:</b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>Moderate levels of stress usually enhance a child‘s
experience—kids enjoy the excitement. But high levels can be damaging to their
emotional health. As expected, individual sports create more stress than team
sports. If you lose a golf match you can’t blame your teammates. If your golf
ball goes out-of-bounds, guess who hit it there?! A study of girls competing in
eight different sports found that gymnastics was the most stressful, followed
by track and field, swimming, tennis, softball, volleyball, basketball, and
field hockey. Do winning athletes handle the stress better? No. <span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="color: #660000;">Studies have found no correlation between
anxiety and a child’s ability</span>.</span> Better athletes may be burdened by higher
expectations. </span></span></li>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">
</span></ul>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cathy and I were pleased with
our sons’ involvement in soccer, partly because of its lower stress. Standing
on a soccer field, a young child can watch the clouds fly by or search for a
four-leaf clover, but few (other than the child’s parents!) notice. On the
other hand, a former Olympic ice skating champion explained the stress in her
sport: “In four minutes of free skating you’re being judged on a whole year of
practice. Not many sports put you through that, being the focal point of the
entire arena. You’ve got to look like you’re enjoying yourself and accept the
judges' decision and not throw a tomato at them. It’s tough.” Because of the
stress of individual sports, it might be best to guide your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">young</i> child toward team sports. She can
begin learning the individual sports with minimal direct competition.<o:p></o:p></span></span>Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-45522880588606715052015-04-22T14:35:00.001-07:002015-04-22T14:35:27.530-07:00Selecting A Sport, Part 5<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Think About Physical Health<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Each
year over <span style="color: #660000;">4 million kids visit emergency rooms as a result of sports injuries—a
fourfold increase since 1995!</span> As kids’ sports have hit “the fast lane” with
longer seasons, more sports, harder training, young bodies have suffered.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Children’s
hearts cause only minor concern since they can withstand nearly any test of
endurance. But the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">overuse</i> of joints
(e.g., shoulders and knees) can cause serious damage because the bones of
pre-teen kids are still growing. The problem with overuse injuries is that some
are hard to detect: no blood, no bruises, no broken bones. Even x-rays or MRI’s
may not reveal anything. As a result, parents have to depend on their child’s
self-report. “But what if my child is faking it?” Even if he is, he may be
telling you something important—for some reason he doesn’t want to compete.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">In
former days, children often played sports without adults present. If a child
hurt his arm throwing a baseball, he probably went home and rested it. But now
he has multiple coaches and his parents to please. He hears them say foolish
things like: “You just need to learn how to play through the pain.” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Some
sports are more likely to cause injuries. A boy who played high
school football in 2006 in South Dakota was seven times more likely to receive
a season-ending injury than a boy playing basketball! In a recent season, the
University of Georgia lost 19 football players to season-ending injuries. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">A
chief concern in football is the potential for concussions. One survey found
that 61% of NFL players had experienced at least one concussion and one-fourth
of them had had three or more. Those who had concussions reported increased
problems with memory, concentration, speech impediments, and headaches. Another
study reported that Alzheimer's appeared far more often among retired NFL
players than the national average—19 times the rate for men ages 30 through 49!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Fortunately,
football officials are listening to these statistics. </span><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">High school r</span>eferees now commonly remove players who show <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">any</i> sign of a concussion, not just when
an athlete loses consciousness. If trainers even suspect a concussion, the
player may not return to the game. Unfortunately, many<span lang="EN" style="color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> high schools don’t
have a doctor or athletic trainer present to evaluate athletes. Some schools
claim they can’t afford a trainer. But one expert believes “that means you
can't afford to have a program. <span style="color: #660000;">The presence of a certified athletic trainer
makes your program safer by every measure, and if you can't afford to make the
program safe, then you should be closing it up.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Sports injuries
can be avoided if parents understand how a particular sport stresses children’s
bodies. For example:</span><br />
<br />
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Pre-teen runners should run no more than 3 miles
a day because the growth plates at the end of bones are vulnerable to
injury. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Soccer and basketball players may need extra
support for their ankles with all their stopping, starting and cutting. <o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Baseball pitchers, especially in the pre-teen
years, should have their innings strictly limited. I know a father who keeps a pitch count for his son and won't let him pitch when he reaches the limit.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Some medical experts believe that young female
runners who over train are more vulnerable to injury than boys because
their bodies mature differently.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Don’t let your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">young</i> child specialize. She should play a variety of sports
because each sport will stress different body parts.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Finally,
Dr. Stuart Brown, who directs the National Institute for Play, believes that
risk is an important part of children’s play: “I don’t want to foster broken
bones and concussions. But an inherent part of being playful is taking risk.
What you don’t want to do is have the risks be excessive.” He is concerned
about parents who hover over their kids, thus limiting their freedom to
explore, to risk. He observes that children’s playgrounds demonstrate this
over-concern: “There are no teeter totters and most of the swings don’t really
go very high, and the monkey bars can only be three feet high. You know, it’s
reasonable to have safe playgrounds, but it’s also reasonable to have
challenging playgrounds.” <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When we are
overly protective of our kids, we may<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>be
“keeping their bodies safe while we are endangering their souls.”</b> <o:p></o:p></span>Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-87015970078421273022015-04-08T17:26:00.001-07:002015-04-08T17:28:36.386-07:00Selecting A Sport, Part 4 <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">WHICH SPORT? </span></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">The specific choice of a
sport can be difficult because kids have a rainbow of choices.
Some issues to consider:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Think About a Child’s Need for Success<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Before you decide whether to
sign your child up for baseball or basketball, remember what
is primary: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">young</i> children need to
succeed. Sports psychologist, William Beausay </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">explains: <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><em>All
children need a series of happy, victorious experiences. The normal defeats
will come in the routine give-and-take of their own play. But they must learn
to succeed before they can accept defeat. After thirteen, they then must be
defeated to instigate further growth.<o:p></o:p></em></span></span></div>
<em>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span></span></em><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Success is important for a
young child because he can’t reason that if he fails, he will be good at some
other sport or other activity. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">A child’s success will be
greater in a sport that fits his talents. As a child athlete, our son Andrew
had the endurance of a South Dakota winter—even his brothers were impressed
with his stamina on bike rides. Soccer was a perfect fit for him.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I recently saw an e-mail
address that included the words: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">raisingswimmers</i>.
Is someone forcing an identity on the whole family? Would a child be allowed to
pursue golf or soccer? One psychologist has written that girls who are allowed
to pursue “their true interests are two steps ahead of the game. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Teens who believe their parents have hopes
for them that are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">in line with their
actual talents and passions</i>—feel most equipped” for the future. <o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Think About Exercise<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Medical experts report an
alarming increase in heart problems for the young—a problem lessened by
vigorous exercise. If your child is interested in a sport like bowling, you
might encourage her to swim or bike also. Since the benefits of exercise are
temporary, my wife and I wanted to establish the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">habit</i> of exercise in our kids. Thus, our routines included physical
activity—vacations included hiking and swimming; we biked to restaurants; we
kicked a soccer ball or threw a Frisbee while dinner was being prepared; we
walked our cocker spaniel--whose idea of fetching a stick was to run away from
us and see if we could catch him!<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Parents, turn in your chauffeur license and let your
child bike or walk herself to school, to ball practice, to a friend’s house</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">. (The media’s fixation on the rare child abduction
has led many parents to be overly protective of their children. Your child has
a 100 times greater chance of dying in an auto accident than being abducted!)<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-56684638103852421882015-03-17T17:41:00.000-07:002015-03-17T17:41:42.005-07:00Selecting A Sport, Part 3<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Busy Kids</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I rush in the front door from
work and find my son enjoying a cookie and a glass of milk. I pull up a chair
and announce: “Hey, I don’t have much time—I’ve got to leave for a church
meeting in 5 minutes. But let’s talk. You tell me all about your hopes and
dreams and problems and I’ll share with you some wisdom to help you grow up to
be a man of integrity. But talk fast—we only have four minutes left.”
Ridiculous? Obviously. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Kids desperately
need to bond with their parents, but it won’t happen in five minute bursts or
while sitting on the sidelines of their athletic contests.</b> It can happen,
though, at mealtime or bedtime, on family vacations, while working together on
a household project. When our boys were young, we tucked them in bed with the
invitation to “talk-about-the-day”. Talking about the highlights of the day was
an unhurried, satisfying way to end our days and helped us connect in
significant ways.</span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mary, the mother of Jesus,
was an ordinary young woman with an extraordinary faith. What was the source of
that faith? The Bible tells us that she <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">pondered</i>
what was happening to her and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">treasured
all these things in her heart</i>. But what child today has time to ponder
anything?! A recent cartoon showed two young girls clutching personal planners
while they waited for the <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>school bus.
One of the girls suggested: "Okay, I’ll move ballet back an hour,
reschedule gymnastics, and cancel piano ... you shift your violin lesson to
Thursday and skip piano ... that gives us from 3:15-3:45 on Wednesday the 16<sup>th</sup>
to play.” We laugh, but what has happened to childhood? How have even kids become
such time paupers? All children need time to play, to daydream, to draw a
picture, to read a book, to pray. The only way to give this to your child is to
limit his activities. Otherwise he may come to look and act like a tired
businessman.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Can families limit a child to
one sport per athletic season? Some worry that a child’s talent may go
untapped: “My son is already playing soccer but I better sign him up for golf lessons,
too. Who knows, he may be the next Tiger Woods!” But would it have been a
tragedy if Tiger Woods’ parents had missed his golf talent? John Rosemond
commented on that possibility: “Maybe Tiger would have grown up to become a
virologist, and maybe he would have discovered a cure for [a major disease].” <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We need parents who have a larger vision for their child
than the next championship trophy.</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span>Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-91803155243189361942015-02-28T10:49:00.000-08:002015-02-28T10:49:53.776-08:00Children's True Needs<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Family vacations at Lake
Okoboji were the highpoint of my childhood summers. We swam and fished; played
ping pong and pinball; ate gobs of sweet corn and peaches; and even competed in
a talent show! My baseball coach didn’t like it, but he understood-family
vacations came first. But during the last two decades of the 20<sup>th</sup>
century, family vacations declined by nearly 30%. And one of the main
deterrents? Children’s sports. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">When I was in high school I
played on a city league baseball team and an all-star team. I played a combined
total of 30-35 games each summer. But a high school player today will play two
or three times that many. The benefits? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Maybe
</i>kids become better ball players. But at what cost? One study compared the
SAT scores of two groups of high school athletes. One group’s extracurricular
activities were sports only. The other participated in a diversity of
activities. The SAT scores were <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">lower</i>
for kids involved in sports only. A child who narrowly focuses on sports may be
weakened in other ways.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Our children have important skills to acquire—they
must learn how to care for others, to connect with God, to manage money, to
think critically.</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> To help our kids
meet these needs, we made sure they were involved in a broad mix of activities:
household chores, church camp, mission trips, family gatherings, gardening (at
home and with grandpa), growing and selling produce, helping neighbors, and
more.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Psychologist John Rosemond
has reported that when he speaks to parent groups, he asks them to raise a hand
if they did chores as a child. Almost all of them raise a hand. But when he
asks them to raise a hand if they require their kids to do regular chores, only
a few raise a hand. Chores help train a child for the future. As an adult he
will need to know how to wash clothes, clean a bathroom, fix a meal, care for a
lawn, budget money, etc. When our boys complained about household chores—“Why
do we have to weed the garden? Our friends aren’t their parents’ slaves!”—we
would try to calmly explain: “Family life is a joint effort. If you don’t help
out then some other member of this family will be unfairly burdened.” Parents, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">if you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">don’t</i>
treat your child like a privileged house guest, your future son- or
daughter-in-law will shower you with praise!</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-88842121360028462392015-02-17T15:47:00.002-08:002015-02-17T15:53:35.880-08:00Selecting A Sport <span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">Part 1<o:p></o:p></span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">When I was a boy, I had no opportunity
to participate in organized sports until I reached the age of nine. Today, many
children begin at the age of three or four—and some even younger! Is that wise?
When should kids begin organized sports? </span><o:p><span style="font-family: Courier New;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">At one exhausted point when
our three boys were playing both spring and fall soccer, I estimated that their
yearly commitments to games and practices totaled more than 100! And they were
also playing other sports. William Doherty asks:<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> “How did children’s sports come to consume so much of family life?”<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Before you register your
child for any organized sports, consider the larger picture: How will this
effect the whole family? Sports choices should consider the needs of
non-participating siblings. How will a brother feel if he is either dragged
along or forced to stay with relatives while his sister travels 10-15 weekends
a year to play soccer? No child should be required to do that year after year. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Furthermore, Christian
psychologist John Rosemond believes that “no other relationship or enterprise
of any sort should come before [the parents] relationship with each other.” <strong>In
many homes, couples pour all of their energy into their kids, leaving each
other the dregs. </strong>Is it any wonder that
second highest divorce rate is found in the years immediately <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">after</i> children leave the nest? Cathy and
I maintained a weekly date night, we occasionally vacationed without our kids,
and we didn’t let their athletic schedule trump all other commitments. Did we
miss some of their contests? Of course. But we were committed to putting God
and each other ahead of our boys’ athletic commitments. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-69072279703704504402015-02-02T16:12:00.003-08:002015-02-02T16:18:06.239-08:00"Happy Days"<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Over the holidays, the young men that I coached for seven
years on a club soccer team—our youngest son included—organized a reunion. Cathy and I hadn’t seen most of them for the past 15 years and for more than two hours we reminisced
and laughed about one of the more positive experiences in their growing up
years. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Their favorite memory was a championship victory over their perennial
nemesis—whom they had never defeated. They won that overtime game on a long
throw-in that was headed in the goal by a boy who had just entered the game. We
remembered the tears of the losers--they were inexperienced losers!
One of their parents told me after the game that he thought the loss was good
for that team because of their inflating ego.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">But there were painful memories also. They remembered the
tournament they were swindled out of a spot in a championship game by
a coach who secretly lobbied tournament officials to bend the rules in his
team’s favor. And one of the young men agonized over being tossed out of a game
for leveling a referee he had not seen because he was chasing a high kick. The
referee thought he intentionally bowled him over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Another young man remembered joining our team after playing
for a ragtag team in a nearby city. His former team seldom won and each boy on
that team had a lone jersey for a uniform. He was overjoyed when he came to his
first tournament with us and received two full uniforms plus warm-ups. He
thought he had arrived in the big leagues!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">But many of the memories had little to do with soccer and a
lot to do with relationships. They remembered staying at a mountain cabin
during one tournament. The cabin sat by a raging creek that one of the boys
fell in and another one yanked him out after he was sucked under. Had he saved
him from drowning? We will never know. And there were other less dramatic
memories:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;">They remembered—and sang!—a popular song that
they played again and again during pre-game warm-ups.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;">They laughed at the memory of an agitated
goalkeeper for another team who was dubbed “psycho goalie”.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I recalled a boy throwing up in an elevator
after boasting about how much pizza he could eat!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Several remembered one boy sliding through a
muddy puddle at the end of the game, just for the fun sliding through a muddy
puddle—and then being denied access to his car until he stripped down.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">When sports are dominated by news about drugs, domestic
violence, greed, and immorality, it is good to remember that sports can be a
source of great joy for many children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-38430456110832881482015-01-07T12:59:00.002-08:002015-01-07T12:59:53.443-08:00Weathering Life’s Storms
<br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The past two blogs I have been writing about the weather—the weather in a
child’s life. Weatherman Jesus has warned us that storms are on the way. These
are not gentle April showers, but downpours that have the potential to capsize
a life: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The rain came down, the streams
rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great
crash.<o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">The child I described was one who is a talented basketball player but
whose coach thinks otherwise. His talent has been affirmed by many others,
just not his coach. The temptation for the child and the parent (the two are
usually in sync!) is to complain about the injustice, railing against the
“brain-dead” coach! Jesus announced that the only way this boy won’t be blown
down by this test is to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">hear these words
of mine and put them into practice. </i>This young man needs to hear and act on
God’s truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But what truth does he need to incorporate into his life? In the previous
post he was challenged by James to view these storms as a test from God: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">count it pure joy whenever you face trials! </i>God
wants to build character in this son so that he becomes <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mature and complete. </i>This young man needs to know that trials are
one of God’s primary ways in shaping his life for good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">But there are other Scriptures that can help this young man persevere
through his trial. For an example:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<ul>
<li>
<!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><strong>The race is not
to the swift or the battle to the strong.</strong> </span></i><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">(Ecclesiastes 9:11).
Knowing and being reminded that we live in a world where <strong>injustice happens
frequently</strong>, may help him hold on. He is not suffering alone.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Now <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that you have a
sincere love for your brothers, <strong>love one another deeply, from the heart</strong>. </i>(1
Pet.1:22f) One of the challenges for this son will be to love his teammates
wholeheartedly--even the ones playing ahead of him! Can he be genuinely enthused about their successes? Is it possible that these boys need affirmation
more than he does?</span></li>
<li><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><strong>Seek first the
kingdom of God and his righteousness</strong> and all these things will be given to you
as well. </span></i><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">(Matthew 6:31) Though it may be difficult for a teenager to grasp this, he
has the opportunity to begin learning that there are more important things than
being on the first team of his basketball team.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-43101512093754267342014-12-20T16:33:00.001-08:002014-12-20T16:33:13.088-08:00God's Goal In Trials<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Your son has been aiming to play for his high school’s basketball team
since he was in middle school. He has labored diligently, practicing much on
his own, lifting in the weight room, attending summer camps. At one of these summer
camps a college coach talked to him about coming to his school and playing for
him. Your son was flattered by the praise—which helped build an expectation
that he would be a starter on his high school team. But today your son has just been
informed by his coach that he will not be starting in the team’s first game. In
fact, at best, he will be the third person off the bench. What do you say to
your dejected son? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">In my last post we looked at Jesus’ words about the inevitability of
storms—no one lives in Eden anymore. So how can your son weather his storm?
Jesus gave a rather simple formula for staying upright in the storms: E<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">veryone who <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">hears these words</b> of mine and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">puts
them into practice</b> is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. </i>Hearing
and acting on Scripture will prevent your son from being knocked down by this
squall.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">So what Words does your son need to hear and begin to practice? James
is a good place to begin: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Consider it pure joy, my
brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the
testing of your faith develops perseverance. (1:2,3)</i> <span style="color: #660000;">Your son needs to
acknowledge that his storm is a test of his faith.</span> His job is to hang on, being
encouraged that God cares enough about him to design a special test for him. In
this test, God is asking him, “Will you trust me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="color: #660000;">What is your son trusting God to do? It is not to make him a starter. It is
not to win him a scholarship. God’s work in this trial is to make your son </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #660000;">mature and complete, lacking nothing.</span> (James
1:4) T</i>his storm is designed to add character to your son. God makes
that a rock solid promise--if your son will trust him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-12141094535566525532014-12-08T08:15:00.001-08:002014-12-08T08:15:04.920-08:00Warning: Severe Storms Predicted<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Robert Griffin III is an unusually gifted young man. In high school he was
a three sport star. His senior year he led his football team to the Texas Class 4A
championship <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>game. In track, Griffin
broke state records for the 110-meter and 300-meter hurdles. As a junior, he
was rated the nation’s No. 1 high school 400-meter intermediate hurdler. At
Baylor University his success continued as he won the starting position at
quarterback his freshman year and after his junior year won the coveted Heisman
Trophy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Griffin’s achievements were not confined to the athletics. He was senior class
president and ranked seventh academically in his class. While at Baylor he
compiled a 3.67 GPA and earned his political science degree in just three
years.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">After graduation Griffin’s storybook life continued. He Was drafted by the
Washington Redskins and signed a $21 million contract. His first year in the
NFL (2012)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he set a record for the
highest passer rating for a rookie quarterback and led the Redskins into the
playoffs for the first time since 2007. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">But since that rookie year, and especially this year, Griffin has
struggled. Battling injuries and poor performances, he was replaced in the
starting lineup. Listen to his coaches’
comments:<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">“In the games he's played, our production has been awful.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">“Very raw. Very raw." (The coach’s evaluation of his
progress over the past three years.) <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“He's auditioned long enough. Clock's ticking. He's gotta
play.”</span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">"His biggest thing, he's been coddled for so long.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Symbol; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;">"We just want him to stop talking and play. He has
to outperform all the antics."<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Suppose your son is a fan of RG III--what would you say to him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus informs
us that all homes are battered by storms: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“The
rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the
house.” (Matt.7:25) </i>It doesn’t
matter whether my house is built on rock
or sand, or whether I’m rich or poor, wise or foolish, talented or untalented,
Christian or non-Christian, beautiful or ugly, mature or immature, threatening
storms eventually break over all of us. Thus,
the question for Robert Griffin and for us is not, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will we encounter storms? The question is,
Will the storms flatten us?<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span><br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The apostle Peter wrote to Christians advising them: “<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Do not be surprised</b> at the painful trial your suffering <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">as though something strange were happening
to you.</b>” (I Pet.4: 12). One of the ways the storms injure us is when they
are unexpected. Painful trials should not be a surprise. Painful trials should
not seem strange. <span style="color: #660000;">Painful trials are found on everyone’s path through life.</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A young athlete may be hassled by incompetent
referees, unqualified coaches, sprained ankles, jealous teammates, misjudged
talent, bad luck, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Such squalls can
be a gift to a child, teaching him how to weather more severe storms later in
life:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a degenerative disease,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the divorce of parents, the loss of a loved job, the early death of a
parent, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>rejection by a cherished friend,
an absent father, a bankrupting
investment, a severely handicapped child, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>etc., etc., etc. Even these severe storms can
be survived when we are prepared for them. In my next blog I will address how to prepare for them.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;">
</span>Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-38834800365847397152014-11-13T17:56:00.000-08:002014-11-13T17:57:59.561-08:00Parents' Role: Stay Out of God's Way!<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">A
concerned mother expressed worry that her son would not be given a fair
opportunity to play on his high school basketball team. Her worry was based on
her son’s belief that the coach didn’t like him. She looked perplexed when I
responded: “Great! It will give your son (and you!) an opportunity to trust God.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">As
parents, we never want our kids to suffer. But suffering is a pre-requisite to
growth. James said it best: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Count it pure
joy, my brothers, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">whenever you face
trials</b> of many kinds, because you know that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the testing of your faith </b>develops perseverance. Perseverance must
finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.</i>
(1:4f). When a child encounters a trial, he may need your help. And if that </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">trial involves a relationship with a coach, there are good and bad types of assistance:</span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Do NOT intervene. Don’t go talk to the coach. Don’t try to get the
coach fired! Don’t get in the way of what God wants to do in your child’s life.
This is a problem designed by God for your teen. </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Do NOT complain -- especially in your child’s presence. Your complaints
may block his ability to see how God is at work.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">You CAN instruct. Help him put his hope in God rather than his coach. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Why are you downcast, oh my soul? Why so
disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior
and my God. (</i>Psalm 42:5). Help your child see that the problem is test of
his faith and offer to pray with him. </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">You MUST </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">take a long-term perspective on your child’s life. What do you want him
to look like when he is 30 years old? <span style="color: black;"><strong>Your highest goal for your child should not be to
make the team or to win a college scholarship.</strong></span> Your primary goal for
him should be that he becomes a mature Christian man.</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">This
goal of maturity won’t be accomplished through one trial. Help your
child be prepared for a series of trials inside and outside of his sports because
we serve a God who frequently intervenes in our lives in surprising ways.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Our
son Nathan was a starter on his college soccer team. But his junior year was a
frustrating and injury-plagued season. Again and again his young faith was
tested--and proved. As a result, I asked God to reward him with a healthy,
successful senior year. God answered my prayer with a resounding
"No!" That fall he was unexpectedly cut from the team. Sometime later,
after he’d gained some perspective, he wrote: “I think God’s response to this
recent absence of athletics in my life is “Finally!” Ever since eighth grade
God has been trying to teach me the lesson in 1 Timothy 4:8:<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> For physical training is of some value, but
godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life
and the life to come. </i>I believe that God has repeatedly put obstacles,
primarily in the form of injuries and coaches, in my athletic career in order
to humble me and make me realize their relative insignificance to Christ and
his kingdom.” As my wife and I read the letter, we thanked God for the maturing
of our son---which was much more important than playing college soccer.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Courier New; font-size: x-small;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Our
love for our kids often falls short. We want them to be happy. God wants them
to be holy. <span style="color: black;"><strong>“Thank you, Lord, for your tough love
in my son’s life. Your ways are not my ways. But yours are infinitely better!”<o:p></o:p></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-75495602489955341532014-10-21T16:14:00.001-07:002014-10-21T16:14:22.959-07:00Athletes As Role Models, Part 3<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Where Have All the Heroes gone?<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I was an NBA all-star year after
year. The arena where I achieved that feat was my driveway! I imagined playing
as a prized teammate of my beloved Boston Celtics. Even with Bill Russell and
Bob Cousy on my team, I always made the last-second shot, the critical steal,
or the amazing block that secured another championship for the world’s best
basketball team.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">My driveway fantasies are not
unique. All children emulate others in their play. When children imitate a
princess or a superhero or an NBA star, they are “putting on” the clothing of
adult life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="color: #333333;">We are designed for imitation.
The Bible is filled with exhortations to imitate God: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Be holy as I am holy.</i> The Apostle Paul asked his disciples to
imitate him. Because imitation is one of the pathways to maturity, children
need role models who are worth emulating. Sadly, today’s sportsworld heroes
often fall short because</span> “our generation has lowered the standards and
amped up the volume.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">But there are genuine heroes in the sportsworld. Recently
retired Juan Pierre was a lifetime .300 hitter before he signed with the L.A.
Dodgers. His first year as a Dodger, he played in all 162 games, as he had done
the previous four years. But the next year Pierre was benched. He didn’t handle
the demotion well. One of the sportswriters described him as “sullen”, “almost
sad.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">The following year Pierre returned to the Dodgers with a new
attitude. Though newly signed free agents decreased his likelihood of playing
regularly, he was determined to return a new man<span lang="EN" style="color: #545454; mso-ansi-language: EN;">: "I wasn't happy with myself last year. I
have always read the Bible, but I was reading it again during the
off-season.... <span style="color: red;">I just figured out God's plan is way better than mine. I thought
I could do it on my own, but I was miserable. I can only control things that I
can control."</span> Players and media noticed the difference. One sports writer
observed that “in such a refreshing way, nothing seems to unsettle him.” His
peace was based on the belief that God is in control. Our athletic kids will
face adversity in their sports: riding the bench, injuries, unjust umpiring,
incompetent coaches. Athletes like Pierre can model how to handle these uncontrollable
and unwelcome events. But parents will have to dig these stories up because
this is not the normal focus of the media.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-54795337597821987442014-10-09T14:01:00.000-07:002014-10-21T16:16:18.527-07:00Athletes as Role Models: Part 2<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">"Talking Points": How to Talk
About the Sportsworld<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Last February Ray Rice
knocked out his then girlfriend, now wife, in an elevator in an
Atlantic City casino. Originally they were both arrested and charged with
assault. Later the charge against his wife was dropped. And Rice, as a
first-time offender, was allowed to enter a diversionary program that would
lead to the erasing of the offense from his record if he completed the program.
Then in July the NFL, after its own investigation, instituted a two-game
suspension for Rice’s misbehavior.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">A lot has happened since that
night, mostly driven by a video of the altercation. Those events include:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Rice’s team, the Baltimore
Ravens, cut him from the team.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">The NFL, claiming
the video provided new evidence,</span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="KVWin_undoend"></a><span style="font-family: Courier New;"> changed Rice’s
suspension to an indefinite suspension. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">The NFL also
changed its domestic abuse policy making a first-time offense punishable by a
six-game suspension and a second offense a lifetime ban from the NFL. </span></span></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Rice is appealing
his suspension by claiming that the NFL wants to punish him twice.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">When events like this happen,
it gives parents <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">a great opportunity to
talk with their kids about a divine perspective on such events.</b> Questions
provide a smooth path into a conversation:</span></span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Do you think Ray
Rice would like to back up the calendar and live that night over again?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Is it a good idea
to marry a man who punched you out two months ago?</span></span><!--[endif]--></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Should Rice get a
second chance?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">What would you do
if Rice was a good friend of yours?</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">What does God
think of Ray Rice?</span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Don’t be in a hurry to give
answers. Your ultimate goal is to <strong>help your kids learn to discern the
difference between good and evil</strong> on their own.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Courier New;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-59682304095983066492014-09-24T10:02:00.001-07:002014-10-21T16:15:10.701-07:00Athletes As Role Models, Part 1<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">A friend of my son has a 7 year-old boy who only wants to wear 2 shirts--both have pictures of suspended star, Adrian Peterson. That dad asked: "Should I let my son continue to wear these shirts?" </span></span><span style="color: #333333;">The
recent tawdry events in the NFL have left parents wondering how the shameful behavior of well-known athletes effects their children. I plan to focus on that issue over the next few blogs.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="color: #333333;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">Parents first question is: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Should we try to shield kids from athletes
who are wife abusers or drug addicts or adulterers?</b> During my childhood, kids
were shielded. The sports media created “fakelore” (All-star pitcher, Jim
Bouton’s<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>word) that hid most of the bad
behavior of athletes. Babe Ruth was made up to be a saint who visited children
in hospitals rather than the heavy drinker and gambler that he was. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><span style="color: #333333;">But is this cover up necessary? The
Bible doesn’t censor the sins of its heroes. Jacob was a schemer, Moses a
murderer, Samson a fornicator, David an adulterer and a murderer. The Bible
presents both the good and the bad because we learn from both.</span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">The key to how children will be
impacted by all of this corruption is whether the athlete’s bad behavior is punished.
In one study, children observed an adult acting aggressively toward a large
doll. Then some of the children observed the adult being rewarded while others
saw the adult punished. The children were then given solitary time with the
doll. Those who saw the adult rewarded for aggression treated the doll with
much greater hostility.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">The principle of modeling, then,
implies that kids do not have to be shielded from the sins of their heroes.
What they need is to see these athletes punished for their offenses. The most
effective hurt for these professional athletes may be playing time. Anything
that significantly shortens already short careers, will certainly be painful. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">God makes it clear that sin has consequences: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #333333;">Do not be
deceived, God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to
please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who
sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.</span></i><span style="color: #333333;"> (Galatians 6: 7,8) <strong>Therefore, t</strong></span><strong>he exposure of an
athlete’s mis-behavior and ensuing problems on and off the field, can be a
“good” model for children—shouting the truth that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #333333;">a man reaps what he sows</span></i>.</strong> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Courier New;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6859678048177443312.post-74777261627059753172014-09-02T11:03:00.000-07:002014-09-02T11:05:20.788-07:00Tiger's Troubles<br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">I have not been a big fan of Tiger Woods. In fact, I haven’t
even been a little fan of Tiger Woods (except when he competes for the U.S.)
There are several reasons for this, not least, that I frequently root for
underdogs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">But it is hard for me to root against Tiger today. Starting with his infidelities in 2009, followed by his divorce in 2010, and now his
major health struggles, his soaring career has been grounded. It was painful
watching this golfing Superman wince in pain as he hit mediocre shot after
mediocre shot in the recent PGA Championship. Tiger has not won a major title
since 2008 and not any kind of title this year. Last week after he missed the
cut in the PGA, he announced that he would take the rest of the year off to try
to heal his troubled back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Tiger is experiencing one of life’s basic truths—<span style="color: #660000;">life is
incredibly humbling</span>. Some years ago my brother had a friend who was going
through some very rocky times. In his pain this friend complained, “I thought
God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle.” My brother wisely responded, “I
hate to disagree with you but I think that is exactly what God does do – he
gives us more than we can handle to teach us to depend on Him.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Life is supposed to be too much for all of us. That is why
Jesus said: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Blessed are the poor in
spirit. </i>As Evelyn de Wall has written, a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">poor spirit </i>is the first step toward transformation:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">It is unfortunate that humility is
a concept which has become so unattractive, and carries associations of low self-esteem,
for in fact it’s true meaning lies in the proper sense of self. It means
<span style="color: #660000;">knowing and accepting my limitations, and not denying them: I am not in charge;
I am not the ultimate source of wisdom. I’m not self-sufficient; I cannot
manage on my own</span>. When I admit that God is in charge I’m willing and ready to
change, probably time and time again.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">When the Apostle Paul encountered crushing circumstances
that he could not pray away, he heard Jesus say: <span class="woj"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in [your] weakness.</i>”</span><span class="text"> As a result,
Paul could proclaim: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Therefore I will
boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest
on me.</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> <span class="text"><sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">10 </span></sup>That
is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,
in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong</span></i><span class="text">. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="font-family: Courier New;">God wants to teach all of us how to delight
in our weaknesses as we lean on his strength. He wants us to
discover his complete sufficiency for any of life’s challenges.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Bernie Schockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00464734327081179886noreply@blogger.com0