Children's True Needs

Family vacations at Lake Okoboji were the highpoint of my childhood summers. We swam and fished; played ping pong and pinball; ate gobs of sweet corn and peaches; and even competed in a talent show! My baseball coach didn’t like it, but he understood-family vacations came first. But during the last two decades of the 20^th century, family vacations declined by nearly 30%. And one of the main deterrents? Children’s sports.

When I was in high school I played on a city league baseball team and an all-star team. I played a combined total of 30-35 games each summer. But a high school player today will play two or three times that many. The benefits? Maybe kids become better ball players. But at what cost? One study compared the SAT scores of two groups of high school athletes. One group’s extracurricular activities were sports only. The other participated in a diversity of activities. The SAT scores were lower for kids involved in sports only. A child who narrowly focuses on sports may be weakened in other ways.

Our children have important skills to acquire—they must learn how to care for others, to connect with God, to manage money, to think critically. To help our kids meet these needs, we made sure they were involved in a broad mix of activities: household chores, church camp, mission trips, family gatherings, gardening (at home and with grandpa), growing and selling produce, helping neighbors, and more.

Psychologist John Rosemond has reported that when he speaks to parent groups, he asks them to raise a hand if they did chores as a child. Almost all of them raise a hand. But when he asks them to raise a hand if they require their kids to do regular chores, only a few raise a hand. Chores help train a child for the future. As an adult he will need to know how to wash clothes, clean a bathroom, fix a meal, care for a lawn, budget money, etc. When our boys complained about household chores—“Why do we have to weed the garden? Our friends aren’t their parents’ slaves!”—we would try to calmly explain: “Family life is a joint effort. If you don’t help out then some other member of this family will be unfairly burdened.” Parents, if you don’t treat your child like a privileged house guest, your future son- or daughter-in-law will shower you with praise!