The first year I was old enough to play organized baseball I
tried out for a Little League team. Though I didn’t make the team, I was
blessed with a splendid alternative. The city organized a league with four
regional teams all coached by two brothers. We played three mornings every week
and there were NO watching parents. In this low-pressure environment we boys
learned how to play baseball. Many of us became the stars of our high school teams.
Fast forward to 2014. I have a friend who referees for high
school summer-league basketball. Though it is supposed to be a low-key
experience for the kids with minimal coaching, my friend explains that the
games are witnessed by 20-30 adults (mostly parents) who are constantly
shouting to the players: “Block out on the rebound!” “Watch your passes!” “Don’t
let him have the baseline!” “Com’n —hustle out
there!”
What has happened? Many parents today are tempted to have
their “fingers in every mud pie their children make.” They do this for reasons
that feel solid and unselfish, desperately wanting what’s best for their kids.
But kids don’t need parents' hectic, exhausting, non-stop supervision of their
lives. Parents, you are coaches, not players. Your children have to run the
race.
There are two dangers for the helping parent:
over-involvement or under-involvement. Though in past years I mostly encouraged
parents to increase their involvement,
today I encourage some parents to decrease
their involvement. In the next few blogs I want to look at what are
appropriate—and at times, inappropriate, ways to help your athletic kids.
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