The Success of Failure

When one of our sons was a junior in high school he was playing behind a boy on his basketball team who wasn’t nearly as talented as our son. (This wasn’t just a parental prejudice! It was also the opinion of a local college coach). After one game in which he played little, he grumbled: “I work hard, practice extra, play well when I’m in the game, but get little playing time. Other guys never practice, play just O.K. and get lots of playing time. I’m not sure I want to play next year.” Our discouraged son needed help.

 

Initially, we reminded him that his extra practice had paid off—he was leading the team in field goal percentage. We also pointed out that his team had been playing weak teams and that he would have an opportunity to shine when they faced stiffer competition. Finally, we encouraged him to think about God’s purpose in all of this. Was God teaching him how to be content “in all circumstances”? to love his teammates? to trust God for his playing time?

The following week, the boy our son was playing behind was injured and wouldn’t play in the next game—a game against a difficult opponent. We asked several people to pray for our son. We prayed together as a family. The result? He played little and poorly. Did God answer our prayers? Definitely! As a result of his discouraging performance and season, he went to his closet and dug out information he had received at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp about how to deal with adversity. Our son—and his parents!—were learning again and again to put our hope in God, not in his circumstances: Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him. (Ps.42:5)  

We parents need to raise our eyes to see God’s purpose in our child’s athletic struggles. If you and your child’s goal is merely playing time or plaques, you may be missing a divinely designed  lesson. God is far more concerned about your child’s developing character than his athletic performance.